What Happens in Your Brain When You Give a Gift?
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Gift-giving activates brain regions linked to pleasure, social connection, and trust, producing a “warm glow” effect
Mental Health · Emotions · Friendship · Marriage and Relationships
The holiday season is here, and with it comes the search for the perfect gifts SNXDO for loved ones. But what exactly goes on in your brain when you give a gift? Is it truly better to give than to receive?
According to Emiliana Simon-Thomas, PhD, science director of the University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center—which studies compassion, happiness, and altruism—gift-giving can activate key reward pathways in the brain, especially when the recipient is someone close to us, and provided we aren’t too stressed to enjoy the experience.
Over the past decade, multiple studies have shown that spending money on others promotes greater happiness than spending on oneself. Generous behavior—whether donating to charity or giving a loved one a desired gift—enhances communication between brain regions involved in social processing and pleasure. In a study from the University of Zurich, 50 participants were given $100: half were told to spend it on themselves, and the other half on someone else over four weeks. Using fMRI scans during a social task, researchers found that those who spent on others displayed more generosity and fairness and reported higher happiness afterward.
Simon-Thomas, who studies the neuroscience of compassion, kindness, and gratitude, explains that this feeling is often called a “warm glow”—an intrinsic joy derived from helping others. What makes gift-giving unique compared to personal achievements or financial gains is its social nature, which stimulates the release of oxytocin. This neuropeptide promotes feelings of trust, safety, and connection, and is sometimes referred to as the “cuddle hormone.”
Unlike the short-lived rush of dopamine, oxytocin helps sustain positive feelings over time. These neural effects begin even before the gift is opened—during the shopping and wrapping stages—and continue through the anticipation and experience of sharing the moment with the recipient.
But is giving really better than receiving?
Simon-Thomas notes that decades of research suggest that giving and receiving can trigger fairly similar brain responses when the gift is thoughtful and from someone we care about. Both can produce an oxytocin-rich reward experience.
However, the process of giving can also evoke stress and anxiety, says Scott Rick, PhD, an associate professor of marketing at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business. Rick, known for developing the “tightwad/spendthrift” scale, notes that people often worry about the cost of a gift or whether it will be well-received. There’s also the potential awkwardness of receiving a gift when you have nothing to give in return.
In such situations, Simon-Thomas explains, the brain may activate regions associated with psychological distress rather than pleasure—closer to the “pain of paying” or social unease than to physical pain.
Reframing the gift-giving experience
If gift-giving feels like just another stressful task during a busy season, it can undermine the joy it’s supposed to bring. Stress inhibits the release of dopamine and oxytocin, leaving you feeling overwhelmed rather than rewarded.
To reclaim the joy, Simon-Thomas suggests shifting your mindset. If finances are a concern, be upfront with friends and family about your budget. Consider offering time or help—like babysitting or assisting with a project—rather than a material gift. Alternatively, plan a shared experience.
“A good gift involves sacrifice—whether of money, time, or both,” says Rick. “It shows you know and understand the person, and that you can still surprise them.”